If you could master any instrument on earth, what would it be? What was your proudest moment from the past twelve months? What was your worst haircut / hairstyle of all time? When you see peers / competitors getting things you want, how do you react? Who is the last person that deeply disappointed you? ) Would you consider yourself an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert? Would you rather have a live-in massage therapist, or a live-in chef? ) Have you ever unplugged from the Internet for more than a week? If you could have tea with one fictional character, who would it be? When was the last time you saw an animal in the wild? ) Would you rather be a lonely genius, or a sociable idiot?and hopefully, help you to feel more deeply connected to the people you love. With the right question, you might discover something you never knew, about someone you’ve known…
Topics discuss dating
Why: You likely have a preference one way or the other. However it's good to know what you're getting yourself in for before you start to get attached to someone.
Why: Do they spend a lot of money or time collecting something? The answers to the above questions aren't necessarily deal breakers.
Key goals of a first date are to (a) see if you have a connection, and (b) find out if you and your date have any major areas of incompatibility. Why: Does the person have strong feelings or are they more easygoing and with milder feelings.
We’re wired so that once we start to develop an emotional attachment this is hard to break away from. Why: Different vacation preferences or amounts of vacation time can be a major source of ongoing incompatibility. Why: This question helps establish if your date has a positive or negative attitude? Why: Helps you find out the person's preferences and also helps you establish if the person has any free time or if they're a workaholic.
You can read my prior articles for Psychology Today here.
Why: Helps you plan future dates but also gives you an opportunity to choose not to pursue dating someone who has very incompatible food preferences from you. Purchase my book The Anxiety Toolkit You can get an email alert whenever Dr Alice Boyes writes a new blog article - Subscribe.There aren’t hard and fast rules about what’s a good vs. Research has shown that the most effective communication style in relationships is a flexible one. Why: This is primarily relevant if you're either an extreme night or an extreme morning person. The examples below are intended to stimulate your own ideas rather than as rules. Why: Is the person about to make any major life changes e.g., leave their 0K/year job to go back to school? Do they see it as a job, a vocation, or are they primarily motivated by climbing the career ladder? How long can you go without checking your emails or texts? If a mysterious benefactor wrote you a check for ,000 and said, “Help me solve a problem — any problem! If you could choose your own life obstacles, would you keep the ones you have? If social media didn’t exist, how would your life be different?Find out early if there are reasons that “making it work” will be fraught. Select a few of these questions rather than attempt to ask them all on the same first date! For example, if one person likes to take very long trips and the other person has a more standard two weeks vacation time. If asking this question leads to five solid minutes of them complaining you'll know the person sees the glass as half empty. Why: When you enter a relationship with someone you’re also entering a relationship with their friends. Why: If one of you doesn't like pets and the other has 3 dogs, that's likely to be a problem.